When I first read this story, I legitimately thought it was an Onion article. But apparently it's true: PETA sued on behalf of Sea World's killer whales, naming five of them as the plaintiffs, claiming their 13th amendment rights were violated because they are "enslaved by humans", kept in tanks, and are forced to perform.

You can read the full AP story here.

"Sea World's attorney Theodore Shaw called the lawsuit a waste of the court's time and resources."

Just nonsense. Total absurdity. Have some common sense, people.

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For some reason, on December 29, 2011, Verizon thought it would be a good idea to start charging a fee to pay your bill online if you don't sign up for their auto-payment plan.

Verizon Wireless offers customers numerous free and simple payment options and we encourage customers to use those options. Starting January 15, a new $2 payment convenience fee will be instituted for customers who make single bill payments online or by telephone... The fee will help allow us to continue to support these single bill payment options in these channels and is designed to address costs incurred by us for only those customers who choose to make single bill payments in alternate payment channels (online, mobile, telephone). It is waived for those who pay by electronic check or enroll in AutoPay...

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Personally, I don't like auto-pay because if I have an issue with a bill, I'd rather not pay until I get it resolved. But the issue here is that Verizon is claiming this new fee will help them "address costs incurred" to support it. I'm sorry, but I'm already paying you $100 a month. You need another $2/mo just to take that payment? It's absurd, and insulting this is their excuse.

The next day, December 30, they sent out a new press release, reneging the fee.

Verizon Wireless has decided it will not institute the fee for online or telephone single payments that was announced earlier this week.

The company made the decision in response to customer feedback about the plan, which was designed to improve the efficiency of those transactions. The company continues to encourage customers to take advantage of the numerous simple and convenient payment methods it provides.

“At Verizon, we take great care to listen to our customers. Based on their input, we believe the best path forward is to encourage customers to take advantage of the best and most efficient options, eliminating the need to institute the fee at this time,” said Dan Mead, president and chief executive officer of Verizon Wireless.

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Uh huh. Sure.

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About 50 people gathered Monday in Burlington City Hall’s Contois Auditorium to mark the anniversary of the civil rights leader’s birthday, and to offer reflections about the importance of King’s legacy. Later, about a dozen people moved to a nearby bank to protest that it was open on the holiday.

The marchers briefly gathered in front of the bank, then tried to enter. Patrick Brown, director of the Burlington Multicultural Resource Center, said he would hand leaflets to bank tellers protesting the bank’s MLK hours. The leaflet read: "Dear TD Bank, you are defying the King holiday. Shame, Shame, Shame. This is a racist act. Shame, Shame, Shame."

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So, staying open on Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday is an act of racism? I'll tell you what: Start protesting establishments that remain open on the 4th of July because of their "lack of patriotism" and maybe I'll be more inclined to side with your calls for justice.

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This is an oldie but goodie. If you're impatient, skip forward to 1:16.

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We are debating the Stop Online Piracy Act and Shiela Jackson has so bored me that I'm killing time by surfing the Internet.

— Steve King (@SteveKingIA) December 15, 2011

Congressman Steve King posted this tweet after tuning out Representative Sheila Jackson Lee in SOPA hearings this week. Jackson Lee responded by saying, "It's inappropriate to have a member of the Judiciary committee be so offensive."

As if that bickering wasn't enough, Lamar Smith decided to take issue with the word "offensive." The House has rules about "disorderly words" and "unparliamentary language" and apparently the use of the word "offensive" to describe a Congressmember applied.

According to CBS News, "[Smith] had apparently concluded that unlike 'boring,' her use of the word 'offensive' violated House rules. He asked Jackson Lee to formally withdraw her remark. She refused."

Smith tried again, saying that he was trying to "avoid making an official ruling" to the effect that Jackson Lee "impugned the integrity of a member of this committee." Would she "consider having just that one word stricken from the record?"Jackson Lee again refused. She wanted King to "give the committee an apology."

Finally, the resolution: Jackson Lee relented. She wanted to have "just that one word stricken from the record."

It's no wonder the approval rating for Congress is in the single digits. This is a total joke. Congressmembers need to get over themselves and work to fix real issues this country is facing, rather than spending time trying to get people to apologize for getting their feelings hurt.

Regardless of whether or not the comments made by King or Jackson Lee are rude or abrasive, there's only one solution to this whole mess: GET OVER IT.

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Late Rep. John Murtha was the first person to be honored with the prestigious Douche of the Day award. Today we find out the FBI was on to him the whole time. Too bad Murtha never found out while he was here on this earth.

The following is a snippet from rollcall.com.

FBI Saw Dark Side of Rep. John Murtha

Agency Suspected Lawmaker in Scheme Funneling Funds to Benefit Friends, Ex-Staffers

• By Paul Singer

• Roll Call Staff

• Oct. 25, 2011, Midnight

Last week’s release of FBI documents finally put in writing what nobody had ever said on the record: The FBI suspected that former Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) and lobbyists close to him were running a scheme to funnel earmarks to sham companies and nonprofits to benefit the lawmaker’s friends and former staffers.

Bits and pieces of this story were kicked around for years before Murtha died in February 2010. The Los Angeles Times, Roll Call, the Washington Post and others had documented the odd appearance of earmarks for tiny defense contractors that just happened to open an office in western Pennsylvania and just happened to hire one of the lobbying firms close to Murtha and just happened to begin making campaign donations to Murtha and other Members of Congress close to him.

Reporters could do little but assemble the coincidences and couldn’t prove there was anything wrong with the bigger picture.

But it turns out the FBI was reading the stories and was very interested — interested enough that the Justice Department had opened a criminal investigation into Murtha and some of the lobbyists in his orbit, a fact that never leaked while Murtha was alive.

Read the rest of the story at rollcall.com.

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Chris Matthews told his viewers that Ron Paul said he would let someone die if they couldn't pay for their health coverage. But actually, Ron Paul said quite the opposite.

Fortunately there are people who fact check this stuff. It's unbelievable that Chris Matthews is said what he said. He couldn't have said anything further from the truth. Hey Chris - how about reviewing the tape before you make these accusations?

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I should start by saying I'm not a fan of Rick Perry. But I'm also not a fan of people who take things completely out of context to try to prove a political point. I'm looking at you, Nouriel Roubini.

Earlier, Nouriel Roubini, an academic at NYU, tweeted this:

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He later tweeted:

The mind of Rick Perry (his sick words on Bernanke) is not much different from that of the Norway mass murdered. Loaded words cause violence.

Riiight. Okay. So conservatives are continually called racists and Joe Biden can call the tea party terrorists for not wanting to raise the debt ceiling, and that's different? There is a clear double standard here. Besides, it's not like the left has never held a violent protest before.

Liberals will say that events like Norway and Gabby Giffords are the result of right-wing "nutjobs" who were "incited" to violence. But the reality is that people on both sides say and do stupid things, and the opposing political party will always find some one on the other side to point the finger at. But I digress.

This tweet by Roubini went a little far. There is obviously no "incitement" to violence whatsoever, and he knows it. And if he honestly doesn't, it's clear he doesn't understand American culture and what Perry was inferring.

Roubini should stop taking things out of context for the sole purpose of brainwashing the young minds he teaches. It is disappointing to me that people like Roubini, a lifetime academic who has never held a real job in his life, represents the vast majority of educators today. They don't understand how the world (and business) works because they've never actually had to live in it. So when this opportunity arose to slam an opposing viewpoint, he attempted to take advantage. But he completely took Rick Perry out of context. And unfortunately for Roubini, the only thing he did was make himself look like a douchebag.

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Just when you think people couldn't get any more absurd, the CEO of UK-based Optimum Population Trust Simon Ross decides to trash talk the Beckhams for having a fourth child. He claims it's irresponsible.

"The Beckhams, and others like London mayor Boris Johnson, are very bad role models with their large families. There's no point in people trying to reduce their carbon emissions and then increasing them 100% by having another child," he said. "England is one of the most densely populated countries in the world and the fastest-growing in population terms in Europe. In 15 years we'll have an extra 10 million people here."

I can see an argument for large families who aren't able to support themselves and have to rely on the government to provide for basic necessities like food. But the argument that carbon emissions will increase by a well-off family having an extra child is just insane. Thanks to the Beckham's prosperity, there's a good chance their kids will go to great schools, get great educations, and potentially have a significantly positive impact on society. Their 4th child might end up curing cancer, or who knows, maybe finding a way to reduce carbon emissions through science, something that would never be possible if the Beckhams were only allowed to have two kids (as is the goal of Ross' organization).

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Nancy Pelosi is back for her fourth appearance here on Douche of the Day, this time for two reasons:

• She thinks she's too important to do her job. (Check out 0:55 in the video below.)
• She declared the Barack Obama has more patience than Job. Yes, Biblical Job (pronounced (Joe - b), from the Old Testament. To put it in perspective, Job was a rich guy with a wife and ten kids. They all died, he lost everything he had, and was covered with a multitude of diseases, but he never once accused God of any injustice (the patience Pelosi is referring to). (Read a summary of the story here.)

‪The_Bible's_Job_Does_Not_Compare_to_Obama's_Patience_in_Debt_Limit_Talks‬‏_-_YouTube.flv Watch on Posterous

The arrogance of this woman is unbelievable. Of course, we all remember this moment:

To be honest, the fact that Pelosi even knew the story of Job is kind of amazing.

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Chris Christie seems to like the company of millionaires. His Chief of Staff, his State Treasurer, even his Acting Commissioner of Education, all millionaires. Christie himself has a net worth of over $3 million.

What the commercial fails to cover is the fact that Christie is a self-made millionaire. Christie is a guy who clearly knows how to make money and keep his personal finances in check. That's why he's still worth close to $4 million, long after earning the bulk of it in his private life. The whole point of the commercial is to attack his success. The same goes for his cabinet. They're attacking a guy just for being successful, and I find that outrageous. They are trying to punish success.

Since when did being successful become a bad thing? It never ceases to amaze me how the people attacking him don't understand that self-made millionaires are usually the most qualified for the job. They understand things like economics and balancing a budget. They did it in their personal lives, so they have a good chance they can do the same in their government positions. The debate between creating wealth vs. inheriting wealth is best summed up by this statement:

"If you didn't earn it yourself, you're probably going to squander it because you don't appreciate it. You don't understand what it took to get there and you have no concept." -Pat Gray

That's why it's important to have successful people in politics. They know what it took to get where they are and are more capable of handling money properly. Because they've done it before.

Side note: the commercial goes on to say that he cut taxes for millionaires. This statement is flat out lie. The democrats proposed a law that would raise taxes on millionaires which he refused to sign. I'm sorry, but a veto of a tax increase bill targeting millionaires does NOT equate to a tax cut.

The NJEA is a group of corrupt liars and it's dispicable that they're trying to bring down a succesful guy simply for being succesful.

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CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (CBS) -- A judge in Corpus Christi, Texas had some harsh words for a mother charged with spanking her own child before sentencing her to probation.

"You don't spank children today," said Judge Jose Longoria. "In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don't spank children."

Rosalina Gonzales had pleaded guilty to a felony charge of injury to a child for what prosecutors had described as a "pretty simple, straightforward spanking case." They noted she didn't use a belt or leave any bruises, just some red marks.

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This is unbelievable. What gives Judge Jose Longoria the right to dictate how a woman's child should be disciplined? Does he not realize that our country is in the state that it's in today because of people like him who didn't discipline their children when they were young?

Sure, we all have different parenting styles, but unless this woman was clearly abusing her child - which it doesn't sound like she was - Judge Longoria has no right to sentence Ms. Gonzales.

Judge Longoria should be unseated for violating the personal rights of this woman and for being a giant douchebag. His job is to uphold the Constitution, not impose his beliefs on others when they're not rooted in the Constitution he's supposed to uphold and protect.

The problem with Judge Longoria's descision was best summed up by a commenter: "The nanny state is here. This is a slippery slope!"

Indeed it is.

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I don't need to explain why Anthony Weiner is a douche. Aside from his current tweeting scandal, there have been many times in the past where I should have written about him for idiotic things he's said in Congress. But I'm not writing about either of those incidents today. I'm writing about the fact that Weiner refuses to step down from office, despite a call from Nancy Pelosi, the most corrupt of them all, and has decided to check himself into a treatment center for sex addictions.

This is nothing more than a PR move. Anthony Weiner knows he doesn't need to go to rehab for his "problem". He just needs to take responsibility and learn how to control himself like every other man in the world. The only reason he's checking himself into treatment is because he thinks it will make him look better in the public eye. He's trying to take a page out of the Tiger Woods playbook of damage control.

But the difference between Tiger Woods and Anthony Weiner is that Weiner is an elected official who is supposed to represent our country. What Weiner really should do is step down. Our Congress is supposed to be made up of upstanding citizens, above reproach and free from any sort of scandal, whether sexual or fiscal.

Can you imagine what our founding fathers would think if they saw what is going on today? Weiner has clearly shown that he does not represent his district, unless his district is primarily made up of pervy men who don't know how to control themselves.

Anthony Weiner is a douche for refusing to step down and let someone with more morality step in and represent his district. Weiner has ruined his reputation and it's something from which he can never recover.

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This video made my blood boil. Native American Activist Winona Laduke is up in arms about how the U.S. Government is "racist" for using the code name "Geronimo" to relay the news that Osama bin Laden was dead. This made Laduke, and many others, believe that the government was equating Geronimo, the Native American leader, to Osama bin Laden. Too bad they didn't have all the facts.

As it turns out, the navy seals used the name Geronimo in quite a different way. Here's the actual story from the AP:

Back at the White House Situation Room, word was relayed that bin Laden had been found, signaled by the code word 'Geronimo.' That was not bin Laden’s code name, but rather a representation of the letter 'G.' Each step of the mission was labeled alphabetically, and “Geronimo” meant that the raiders had reached step 'G,' the killing or capture of bin Laden, two officials said.

But Laduke turns the use of the name Geronimo into a platform to discuss a larger grudge, drawing out examples of how the military has a pattern of using Native American names in a "negative light" in her opinion.

Laduke says the following starting around 1:45 in the video above:

The military is full of native nomenclature. You've got Black Hawk helicopters, Apache Longbow helicopters, you've got Tomahawk missles. The term used when you leave a military base in a foreign country is to go 'off the reservation.' So what is that messaging that is passed off? It is basically the continuation of the wars against indigenous people.

Actually, I don't think she could get it more wrong. It's an honor to have military properties named after you. If anything, it correlates to the fact that the Native Americans were mighty warriors.

She goes on to say that the government uses the same name for a cavalry as we did in 1890 during a battle between the United States and Native Americans. I'm sorry, but dragging out an event that happened two generations ago just to prove a point is nothing more than playing the victim card. The war was between previous generations. We are not the same people today, and thus the name doesn't carry the same connotation.

Rather than the government apologizing to Laduke, she should apologize to the government for making a complete fool of herself.

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If you didn't already think unions are the scum of the earth, this should convince you. The chief of police in Scranton, PA was checking into a drug complaint on his day off and it led to him making an arrest. Sounds good, right? A heroic public servant who is doing his part to keep crime under control, even on his day off. Well, that's not the way the Scranton police union saw it.

The police union saw the action by the chief as one that could result in the layoffs of regular officers if the chief has to "step in and do the work."

You've got to be kidding me. Whose side are these unions on? Only a convoluted mind could twist the actions of the chief into being a negative thing. The union is trying to punish an honest, hard working, true public servant for doing the right thing. The cops and the chief are supposed to be on the same side!

Shame on the Scranton police union. Instead of complaining about their chief busting punks and threatening the jobs of union members, the union members should take some proactive steps to demonstrate their value to the community and thank their chief for his dedication to the community.

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Senator Harry Reid has made numerous appearances on Douche of the Day, and for good reason. What he said today is another prime example:

(Reuters) - Ratcheting up the rhetoric, U.S. Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid on Friday said Republicans want to shut down the government because they want to deny funding to women's health clinics.

"Republicans want to shut down the government because they think there's nothing more important than keeping women from getting cancer screenings. This is indefensible and everyone should be outraged," Reid said on the Senate floor.

Really, Harry? Really??

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Congress has a lot of problems, but none greater than passing pointless recognition resolutions. It's such a waste of time. This video was made last year, when Congress ran into the same problem of not passing a budget by the deadline, but it applies just as much today as it did a year ago.

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Mr. Moore, I have only one thing to say to you: usdebtclock.org

Also, did I hear a vuvuzela at the end of that clip?

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The human resources director of Framingam State University, Rita Colucci, decided to consider a fragrance ban after receiving "numerous complaints" from faculty members.

What is wrong with this woman?

Framingham_State_weighs_fragrance_ban_on_campus.flv Watch on Posterous

According to the report, the faculty members also noted that cleaners and disinfectants can cause health problems. I'm sorry, but is the solution to stop using cleaning products? Is it time to stop disinfecting things?

This is just an example of a person with a minority voice trying to make a change that the majority doesn't want. Even the reporter stated, "I couldn't find a single student on campus who thought banning perfume was a good idea."

But the best quote came from a student at the university:

"There's always going to be something that [somebody doesn't like] but you don't just take it away for everyone. You learn to live with it and you learn to cope and you compromise with each other."

Hmm, maybe he should take over the job of HR director. He seems to have his head screwed on a lot straighter than Colucci does.

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Easter is more than just a Christian holiday - it's a cultural tradition in America. But Munson Township, Ohio decided pull the correlation between Easter and their annual egg hunt to be more inclusive.

Ohio_Town_Removes_‘Easter’_From_Egg_Hunt_The_Blaze.flv Watch on Posterous

Have you ever met anyone who has been offended by an Easter Egg Hunt?

If people keeps killing our cultural traditions, we're going to have nothing left. We'll have a bunch of random celebrations that are meaningless, and the next generation will wonder why we even celebrate them at all.

Mark my words: next, these idiots will start a war on our July 4th Independence Day celebrations because it's exclusive to America.

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